Guest Post: 9 Things I Wish I Did Before I Had My Second Kid

This is a guest post written by Tara Pringle Jefferson.

1. Upgrade items from baby #1. Since I got pregnant with my son a few days shy of my daughter’s first birthday, a lot of her baby items were still in semi-decent shape and would be good to use with the new baby. Or so I thought. I should have realized that a cute little diaper bag that worked wonders with one baby might not do the job after two years of use and twice as much crap stuffed inside. If I had to do it all over again…I’d invest in some more sturdy baby stuff. They don’t make it like they used to.

2. Quit being a punk. Yeah, that’s right, I was a punk when I had one kid. Always whining about how tired I was. I.HAD.NO.IDEA. In the few months after my son was born, I would clutch my husband’s pants as he moved toward the door. “Don’t leave me here by myself with two kids,” was probably the most frequent sentence I’ve uttered this year. If I had to do it all over again…I’d (wo)man up earlier. Yeah, it’s hard to take care of two kids by yourself, but it’s not impossible.

3. Think through the logistics. I thought about where the kids would sleep, how we would manage with two kids in diapers, but I didn’t think about other things, like how the heck I would maneuver two kids (one baby, one toddler) in the rain. If I had to do it all over again…I didn’t like feeling caught off-guard but I’ll be darned if I’ve figured out how to scurry holding two kids during a downpour…Any ideas?

4. Practiced the fine art of “Me time.” If I thought I had zero free time with one kid, it plummeted after I had the second. If I had to do it all over again…I’d learn how to make sure I put myself first, if only some of the time.

5. Get more sleep. This one is easier said than done, right? Everyone wishes they could get more sleep but in reality it’s hard to make that happen when you’ve got a to-do list that’s longer than your waking hours can accommodate. If I had to do it all over again…I would take my %@# to bed when I was tired. The dishes can wait.

6. View more things through my husband’s eyes. We went through a very rough patch after the first kid as we were learning how to be parents and lovers at the same time. I wanted to wring his neck most days of the week. But I now realize that it wasn’t necessarily him - it was just the adjustment. I could have been a lot happier if I came to this conclusion earlier. If I had to do it all over again…I would have seen my husband as my partner, not someone who was just in the way.

7. Learn how to accept help. I get physically sick when people offer to help, either by washing my dishes or folding my laundry, or watching my kids for a few hours while I get in a date night with the hubby. It’s so hard for me to realize that I can’t do it all myself, that occasionally I need to call in for backup. If I had to do it all over again…I would slap a smile on my face and accept the help as readily as it’s offered.

8. Spend more time preparing my firstborn. My daughter was only 12 months old when I found out I was pregnant again, so I didn’t think ”Hey, you’re going to be a big sister soon” would make much sense to her. She realized quickly that Mommy was getting fat, but I still think it was a shock to her when she came to visit me in the hospital room suddenly looking 30 pounds lighter and holding a little mini version of her. If I had to do it all over again…well, I don’t really know how I could have done it differently. Bought the kid a doll or something?

9. Enjoy the second pregnancy just as much as the first. With the first pregnancy, everything was cause for celebration. When I first felt a kick, it was like I was the first woman in the history of the world to be pregnant. With the second? Eh, was that a kick? Might just be gas. Who knows? If I had to do it all over again…I’d rejoice in all the little things that make pregnancy fun, even if I had just experienced it a year earlier.